I had an addiction client that I worked with for over two years aggressively addressing her prescription drug and alcohol addiction, while working on some horrific core issues. Once a breakthrough came and she seemed to be on the road to recovery, another addiction was identified. Because the alcohol and drugs were “symptoms” of this addiction, it was difficult to get to real addiction of “caring too much”. The progression of this addiction goes like this: avoid own problems, find someone else to fix, get in over your head, start using alcohol and/or drugs. We have been working on redirecting this addiction to have healthier outcomes. Meanwhile, I believe, this is an addiction that addiction counselors need to be aware of. Here is what caring-addiction can look like:
-believe that being liked and gaining others’ approval are absolutely essential for emotional well-being
-consumes any type of approval and displays of being liked whether positive or negative
-becomes extremely upset and can be pushed over the edge by criticism
-DISAPPROVAL MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST!
Based on what I have learned from the above case, my suggestion is don’t be blinded by soft addict behavior that appears reaching out to help others is a good thing. This behavior could be a deflection so that personal worth becomes dependent on “look how wonderful I am helping others.”
A book on this topic recently came across my desk and I would like to recommend it to both professionals and the general public “The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome” by (the late) Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., McGraw-Hill, 2001. This book “explodes the dangerous myth that “people pleasing” is a benign problem.” Learn more about this book at:
http://www.diseasetoplease.com
Be well on your journey.
Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at:
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
I am also President of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION, building a safe internet format for wellness practitioners to offer safe services to the public. For information go to
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation
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