HELP WANTED: PLEASE!

HELP WANTED: PLEASE!!!

On one of the morning news programs there was a piece about job scamming online. ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION wants you to know that we are serious about PAYING YOU to help us get the word out about membership. (See our 8/28/09 blog for the how-tos and what you can earn.)Think about it: ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION wants to be a global organization. Our Mission is legitimate and simple: building a safe platform for ONLINE WELLNESS SERVICES. OWA is offering to pay you $100 for each member that is you refer that is approved for membership. No tricks. This IS gorilla marketing at its best. Won’t you PLEASE help us in YOUR town–wherever you are?! If you need OWA business cards to hand out, contact OWA with your mailing information and we will get those right out to you. Remember THERE IS NO LIMIT WITH THE NUMBER OF REFERRALS YOU CAN SEND US!!

Look forward to sending you lots of money!

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

EARN MONEY: NO SELLING

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION is still offering it stimulus package to help you have money for the up coming holidays. Instead of buying expensive advertising, OWA wants to offer YOU $100 for helping get new members. $100!! No limit!!! Here is how it works:

-Browse through http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com to understand what ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION does. I would suggest being sure to read “Words from Our Founder”.

-If YOU have any questions, or need clarification on anything on the website, contact our OWA President at maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com. OWA wants YOU to be clear about what you are selling.

-YOU actually aren’t selling anything. OWA staff members will do the selling. YOU are INTRODUCING ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION to wellness practitioners in your community.

-To be clear what a “wellness practitioner is” visit the blog entry from 5/28/09 at http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com/blog/

-INVITE wellness practitioners to browse the site, and ask if you can send their contact information to ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION. If you would like to have cards to hand out, e-mail a request to maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com. Be sure to include your name, address, and phone number.

-OWA DOES NOT hard sell. But, we can offer special discounts because of YOUR referral. The OWA staff will not embarrass you in any way.

-Within a week of your referral being approved for membership, YOU WILL RECEIVE PAYMENT FOR $100.

REMEMBER there is NO LIMIT on the number of referrals you send. WE WANT TO PAY YOU TO MARKET ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION!!

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOC MEMBER CRITERIA

Do you have an OWA SEAL OF APPROVAL on your website? Have you applied? In order to qualify for an OWA SEAL you have to meet certain standards and criteria set by ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION. If you haven’t visited the site to find out what is necessary to qualify the following is taken off the ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION membership site:

What sets OWA apart from other online therapy services, are the extra efforts we take to assure the professionalism of all of our practitioners. This will assure our goal of making OWA the primary resource when looking for safe and reliable therapeutic practices on the internet. Though our efforts are to utilize advanced communication technology of the internet to bring clients and practitioners together, we must take the extra time necessary to assure the qualifications and credibility of all our practitioners. Our background checks typically take about two weeks for completion.

The following list is a breakdown of our application process and requirements:
1. Personal Information: name, date of birth.
2. Contact Information: address, telephone number, e-mail, web address, webmaster contact information, business card.
3. Recent Digital Photograph: photos will be resized as needed.
4. Professional Information: title, specialty, licenses.
5. Description of Services: summarize the specific services, specialty, or focus you are offering, hours of operation, preferred method(s) of e-therapy: e-mail, i.m. (instant messaging), a.v. (audio/video), optional method(s).
6. Mini Profile: a one to three sentence description of your method/approach to the services you provide; to be placed in the OWA Directory.
7. Brief Biography: biographies may be utilized if you are chosen as Member of the Month, or for other recognition programs.
8. Copy of Credentials: copies of any licenses, certifications, degrees, required to practice professionally.
9. Four Recent Professional References: colleagues in your field who are familiar with your work, credentials, and integrity. Please notify your references that an OWA Staff Member will be contacting them for identity verification.
10. Agree to Background Check: a background check will be completed by a third party online agency. OWA will only receive communication that you have either passed your background check, or that we ‘need to discuss the findings’. OWA does not receive any of the information needed to complete this background check. Having a felony conviction does not necessarily exclude you from being a member of OWA, particularly if you are already actively working in your field. However, the following felony convictions will exclude you from membership in OWA: Pedophilia, Domestic Violence, Rape, Stalking, and Technology Related Crimes. In addition, you may also be excluded if you have lost your license based on ethical misconduct.

Learn more about becoming an ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION member and having the privilege of displaying an OWA SEAL OF APPROVAL on your site at

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

OWA: HEALTH SERVICES

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION members are dedicated to their professions. They share the same principles and approaches that drive the OWA Mission: “OWA’s goal is to provide a SAFE platform for practitioners to build successful practices online and for potential clients to feel safe when choosing a practitioner.” The practitioners and staff of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION share this philosophy:

“Health & Wellness: therapists, counselors, coaches, and guides in the health and wellness field, integrate various techniques to align mind, body, spirit, and relationships through the use of both traditional and nontraditional therapies. Cognitive and mind-body health techniques are used to achieve presence and peace of mind. Natural diet, exercise, sleep, relaxation, and prevention is emphasized to strengthen and heal the body. Spiritual connectiveness is emphasized to achieve a healthy connection with the mind, body, and external factors. Fulfilling relationships with our work, purpose of life, family, friends, and acquaintances are achieved through learning to free the ego. Achieving wellness means alleviating anxiety, drama, and disease to attain a more fulfilling and peaceful quality of life.”

Have you applied for membership with ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION? Go to

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

OWA: EXPANDING MEMBERSHIP

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION is ready to expand beyond present borders. Are you a LEGITIMATE WELLNESS PRACTITIONER that wants to increase your visibility? Establish yourself an expert? Have immediate proof that you are reliable and SAFE to use? If the answer is “yes” to these questions, then see if you meet the standards and criteria for membership with ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION. Go to

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

HEALTHY HEALING INTRODUCTION

I introduced the HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM (HH) the middle of July 2009. This is an alternative holistic approach to the more traditional programs. For the past three years, my colleagues and I have used all the methods that are components of the HH program with remarkable results. Starting with this blog, I would like to share some of the findings from the work I have done to date, then, take you along on the single subject test I have just started at the beginning of August. My purpose in blogging this information is (1) it forces me to write about the program; (2) it helps me identify patterns coming up during the case study; and, (3) I want very much to have your feedback as I go along working the kinks out of the program. Who I would like to hear from are:

ADDICTS: Resisting going into treatment and why. Ever been in recovery? How long? What happened to throw you back?

RECOVERING PEOPLE: How did you get there? How long have you been in recovery? How do you maintain your recovery? How is life different for you? What is the ONE thing that made all the difference for you being where you are today?

PRIVATE PRACTICE PROFESSIONALS: If you specialize in addiction counseling, I want to hear from you. Comment on what I am doing, offer what you are doing.

ADDICTION COUNSELORS WORKING FOR AGENCIES: Share with me what your agencies are doing differently these days. What are the strengths of the program you work at?

Please let me know if it is alright to reprint your comments in my blog, articles, or other publishings. I will NOT use your name unless you give permission to do that.

To learn more about the HEALTHY HEALING PROGRAM go to:

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: SPIRITUALITY

ADDICTION: ADDRESSING SPIRITUAL
The approach I use in my private practice is that human beings are three-dimensional: physical, emotional (brain), and spiritual. Usually when people first hear the word “spiritual” they think one of two things: “Oh, she is one of those religious nuts.” Or “Here we go with that foo-foo stuff”. Wrong on both thoughts.

Usually on the initial assessment done with new clients, the question “Religious belief” is asked. While I am getting to know the new client, I listen carefully for how vested they are in their stated religion. Are they firm in their religious foundational belief? Are there cracks in that foundation? Do they not have any belief at all? Are they atheist? Agnostic? Could they be undefined spiritual? Once I can understand where they are at, I can help them either rebuild on their solid foundation, explore possibilities to cement the cracks, or help define their spirituality.

For me it is helping the client balance that third dimension of the human experience: the spiritual. Having all three dimensions in balance means a healthier path to continued healing.

What are your thoughts on spirituality in recovery? Please send you thoughts to me at
maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com.

Be well on your spiritual journey.

To learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice, please go to

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

RSVP

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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This letter dealt with a National lifestyle change that has gradually taken place called “proper etiquette”. Young girls have been calling boys for a couple decades now. And, I can’t remember when boys stopped opening doors for girls—maybe somewhere in the seventies. But, like the woman that asked this question, the term RSVP has not only lost “proper etiquette” meaning, it has given way to 21st century technology.
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Dear MAx,
Compared to some of the letters you get, this may not be so bad. But, this is something that makes me so angry. My husband and I entertain a lot, this is something that we really enjoy doing together. We usually go to great extents planning the meal, the decorations, the entertainment—we want everything perfect for our guests and we want them to have a nice evening. Unfortunately, our guests don’t seem to put their part in it—answering the RSVP! And, when they do RSVP they either still show up if they said they weren’t, or, they don’t show when they say they will. What is going on here? I am beginning to think people forgot what RSVP really means. Is this important enough to do a column on?

Kathi

Dear Kathi,
Important enough? Kathi, if it is bothering you, then it is important enough to do a relevant column. Besides, I am totally with you on this one. When I moved to the Pacific Northwest, I thought RSVP was just something that was more “traditional” on the East Coast where I was raised, and everyone out here was just rude.

A check-in with my very proper Sicilian Aunt, who still lives on the East Coast, verified that RSVP seems to be loosing meaning. She also lamented that sometimes she doesn’t even get official invitations to parties that—people just expect she will show up for special occasions.

For those 21st Century computer driven readers that may not be sure what we are really referring to, this is NOT the “Rapid Serial Visual Presentation” method used to display text in a limited space; nor is it the “Resource Reservation Protocol” which is a protocol transport layer for the Internet. For the physics scientists, we are also NOT talking about the experimental physics project, or the, “Rare Symmetry Violating Process”. And, finally, for my fans down-under in Australia, we are not talking about your largest online dating service for singles.

Kathi and I are sharing a concern about the lack, or sincerity, of people responding for social events via “RSVP”: “répondez s'il vous plait”, a French expression that means, “please respond”. The request is to respond to the invitation whether you are going to attend, or not attend.

I consulted with Linda Reed, Etiquette Consultant with Burns & Reed Enterprise, regarding her thoughts on what is happening with the RSVP tradition. She said “Lack of knowledge and social entertaining.” She pointed out that many people do not entertain as much these days, so the formal etiquette of response is getting lost.

Ms Reed also said that those hosts sending the invitation with an RSVP can be impacted economically by not having an accurate head count. She pointed out that tables, chairs, linens, flowers, food, etc, are all charged by how many people are going to be there. This amount can vary from $10/head to $1000 or more/head. If you are planning on having 90 people show up and only 75 show up—well, you can do the math.

On the other hand, if you have 75 people respond that they are going to attend, but 90 show up, this stretches the party plans, stresses the hosts, and puts a damper on the entire affair. Again, it can also have an economical impact.

When someone receives an invitation with RSVP written anywhere on the invitation, it is a plea to let the host know whether or not they either plan TO ATTEND or NOT ATTEND. If the host only needs to know if you are NOT going to attend, the invitation may have the words “regrets only” for your response.

Kathi, I really appreciated you asking this question. I found over thirty definitions for RSVP, some of which I shared above, so I am thinking that people being “rude” may not be a reason they don’t respond. I would have to go with Ms Reed’s opinion that people just don’t know, and the social art of entertaining is diminishing.

I sincerely hope that my readers have gotten the importance of appropriately responding to an RSVP the next time you receive an invitation. Your host is working hard to put an event together for your enjoyment as well as theirs, help them do it right by providing an accurate head count. It is the “proper” etiquette.

Be well on your journey and have fun at your next social event.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

MAx FABRY INTERVIEW

Interview with MAx Fabry, Founder and President of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION:

How did you get started with online counseling?

“I was able to see the value of internet counseling which I have been offering clients for almost three years. When I first started, e-mail was the most efficient way of interacting with my clients in Australia and England. Then, as I started getting additional clients, I learned about online phone services that incorporated web cams; and, chat rooms for real time counseling. Somehow, in three years I had accumulated clients in Australia, England, Alaska, California, Florida, Kansas, Pennsylvania, and Illinois. These clients were all by personal referral. ‘Imagine if I actually started marketing for clients’ I thought one day. In the fall of 2005 it was time to move forward with developing a website to begin expanding my online therapy sessions. Technology had caught up to counseling online—we could now view our clients in real time. And, new generations are becoming virtual community members buying products, downloading music, seeking education—it was truly time for counseling, and other wellness practices, to move into the 21st Century.”

So, you put your private practice online first?

“That was my initial idea. Banking on my three years of internet counseling experience, I decided to embark on an on-line counseling practice. I was ready to put a website up for my own private practice: Lifestyle Changes Counseling Services. As I was doing research to register as an online counselor, I was surprised, and aghast, that there was no specific organization verifying credentials, and, no one able to assure the potential client that I am, in fact, a real counselor, with real credentials. There did not appear to be any real organization to help keep the predators away from the potential vulnerable clients, and to make the internet immediate and efficient for potential clients to chose a wellness practitioner.”

Hence, the idea of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION?

“The idea of developing a safe platform for practitioners actually hit me in the shower the morning I decided to bag the idea of putting my practice on-line. Talk about a scary thought! I went through the pros and cons of starting a new business that I, or anyone else, had limited knowledge about: developing websites, educating why and how, marketing a virtual business, and on and on! I talked to some friends, consulted a mentor or two. After thinking about the idea for a few days, I seized the opportunity to not only move my own practice, Lifestyle Changes, into the 21st century, but to also develop a platform that would be safe for professionals to offer legitimate services, and, potential clients to find legitimate professionals. I decided I wasn’t going to do online counseling alone—I would invite the rest of the therapeutic community to join me.”

“Thus, ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION (OWA) was conceived.”

What are you presently working on?

“I have just launched HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM. This is an alternative to the 12-step approach. I have been experimenting with components of this program for the past three years. Presently I have a test subject going through the entire one-year program. This case just started at the beginning of August, so, more to follow.”

Join MAx and other wellness practitioners building a safe platform for wellness services. See if you qualify as a member at

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

Learn more about MAx Fabry, her private practice, and the new HEALTHY HEALING PROGRAM at

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: INSURANCE COMPANIES

I had an interesting interaction with an insurance company last week that has been staying on my mind. With all the talk going on right now about health reform, I would like to run this by you with the hopes of getting some of your experiences, feedback, and general thoughts about how insurance is allocated for addiction. I would like to qualify that I work and live in Oregon; I believe each state makes up their own rules as they go along---now, I could be wrong about this, too.

My (ten year) practice was actually built on not accepting insurance; I have a sliding scale that has worked for my clients, as well as for me. As an addiction counselor I wanted to be sure that clients that came to me had total confidentiality. When anyone signs a release for a vendor to bill their insurance, they are signing a release that the insurance can request any and all of your records. I believe that this is not only a violation of someone’s privacy, it also limits people accessing help for early addiction help for fear of repercussions with their work, family, and societal standing. In addition, when a counselor/therapist is “approved to be on a panel” (someone approved as a “preferred provider”) the insurance company basically dictates how to keep records.

Another reason I did not want to consider taking insurance is the enormous amount of extra work it takes just to bill the insurance and keep the necessary documentation in order to get paid. Taking insurance would mean hiring someone to deal with the insurances; for a small office, this is not financially feasible. It would cost me almost $1000 per week (salary, benefits, taxes, office space) to hire someone to do this job. I would have to see a lot of clients to cover this cost.

My clients often send a paid invoice for services they received to their insurance company for reimbursement. Surprisingly, many of them have received checks covering a portion, or all of what they paid out. There is one insurance company in Oregon, however, that won’t reimburse, and this is the incident I want to share with you: My client had sent in a paid invoice for services she received over a couple months. She received a rejection for payment. She called the insurance company, but they would not budge on their decision. She called me with a number to call to speak to someone on her behalf. The initial person I talked with was a claims representative with a scripted answer; I asked to speak to a supervisor. The supervisor I spoke with was very adamant that their insurance company only paid “licensed therapists” (Licensed Clinical Social Workers-LCSW). I pointed out that “licensed therapist” were, for the most part, not certified in addiction counseling, and not even required to have taken education in addiction counseling. She held her ground saying “You have to be licensed to be paid by insurance.” I then pointed out that Oregon required “certification” and went over what it took to get a certification from the State of Oregon—the hours, the hands on experience, the education, the case presentation, the continued education hours—“That doesn’t make you a licensed therapist” she responded. I protested “But I have more education about addiction then the usual licensed therapist.” She repeated her mantra “You are not a licensed therapist.” I was frustrated. I took a deep breath, then asked “You are an LCSW, aren’t you?” “Yes.” She answered. Our conversation was over.

Here is what I am looking for from addiction professionals and LCSWs: What are the standards set forth in addiction education for LCSWs? How were professional addiction counselors left out of insurance reimbursement opportunities? How can this be changed? Do we want to change it? What can the insurance companies really request from a client’s files? What is going on in the addiction profession in other states as far as billing insurance, certification, and licensing?

If you can answer any of these questions, or shed additional light on this subject, I would be most appreciative. Meanwhile, I will be do research of my own to see if this topic needs to be part of the present movement for changing how health care is delivered.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, at

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

HEALTHY HEALING TREAMENT PRINCIPLES

Lifestyle Changes recently introduced an innovative holistic approach to addiction treatment: HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM. While developing the contents of the HEALTHY HEALING PROGRAM NIDA’s 12 principles for effective addiction treatment were also considered:

1.Clients to be matched to the most appropriate treatment setting, intervention, and services
2.Readily available
3.Needs to attend to multiple needs of the individual including associated medical, social, psychological, vocational, and legal problems
4.Treatment must be an adequate period of time for effectiveness
5.Combine individual and/or group counseling and other behavioral therapies
6.Medications when indicated
7.Integrated treatment of coexisting mental disorders
8.Detoxification as first stage of treatment
9.Voluntary, as well as, enticements and/or sanctions by family, employment, criminal justice system are means to treatment
10.Monitoring of possible drug/alcohol use during treatment
11.Assessment for sexually transmitted diseases
12.Stressing that recovery is a long-term process

Learn more about this innovative approach at
http://www.lifestylecounseling.com

CARING ADDICTION: PEOPLE PLEASERS

I had an addiction client that I worked with for over two years aggressively addressing her prescription drug and alcohol addiction, while working on some horrific core issues. Once a breakthrough came and she seemed to be on the road to recovery, another addiction was identified. Because the alcohol and drugs were “symptoms” of this addiction, it was difficult to get to real addiction of “caring too much”. The progression of this addiction goes like this: avoid own problems, find someone else to fix, get in over your head, start using alcohol and/or drugs. We have been working on redirecting this addiction to have healthier outcomes. Meanwhile, I believe, this is an addiction that addiction counselors need to be aware of. Here is what caring-addiction can look like:

-believe that being liked and gaining others’ approval are absolutely essential for emotional well-being
-consumes any type of approval and displays of being liked whether positive or negative
-becomes extremely upset and can be pushed over the edge by criticism
-DISAPPROVAL MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST!

Based on what I have learned from the above case, my suggestion is don’t be blinded by soft addict behavior that appears reaching out to help others is a good thing. This behavior could be a deflection so that personal worth becomes dependent on “look how wonderful I am helping others.”

A book on this topic recently came across my desk and I would like to recommend it to both professionals and the general public “The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome” by (the late) Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., McGraw-Hill, 2001. This book “explodes the dangerous myth that “people pleasing” is a benign problem.” Learn more about this book at:

http://www.diseasetoplease.com

Be well on your journey.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at:

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

I am also President of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION, building a safe internet format for wellness practitioners to offer safe services to the public. For information go to

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation

ADDICTION: HEALTH CARE REFORM

Health Care Reform is a gallant subject for review by the present administration, the legislators, and each one of the American people. As an addiction counselor I am very interested in health insurance providing better and more accountable coverage for addiction prevention as well as addiction treatment. In addition to trying to understand the provisions in a very complex House Bill 3200, http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h3200/text, I am depending on NAADAC, ACCBO, and other associations for addiction professionals to help translate and disseminate the information I need to make an informed decision.

Now that the legislators are out of Washington and back to their own states, individuals like you and me can also use their knowledge to get clarification. If we depend on rumors, viral e-mails forwarded from unknown sources, and biased reporting, we are not fairly helping the democratic process. We live in an age where information is at our fingertips. Yet, when I visited the website that has the House bill printed in total, http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h3200/text, I was disheartened to see that less than 285,000 people logged on to the site out of over 300 million citizens that will be affected by this bill.

Participating in the legislative process is part of your right as a US citizen; it is important for you to have input in this process. Knowledge is power. Freedom of speech is still alive and well---DON’T GIVE YOUR VOICE AWAY to rumor, speculation, and partisan politics. Take the time to get informed, than speak YOUR informed truth from your heart. You need to know what the present bill states, you need to know who is and who isn’t supporting it including legislators and lobbyists. Sometimes we just need to “follow the money”.

Health Care in the United States absolutely needs to be reviewed, discussed, and reformed. We are now living in the 21st Century with not only new approaches to health care, but new individual thinking on what is needed. Better to stand up and take a stand on what you believe then to allow anyone to usurp your right to be heard.

Just a reminder: as the Nation is caught up in a loud debate about Health Care Reform, it is important to speak soft enough that you will be heard.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at:

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

RECOVERY: COOKING, FOOD, AND ALCOHOL

A client that had just recently spent 28 days in a rehab center arrived at my office with a bottle of Pepsi and a Snicker bar. As she related the food that she ate while at rehab, I realized I had my hands full to do some cognitive repatterning around nutrition. To complicate her treatment plan further, the client is a chef actively working in the food industry.

Traditionally, the minimal guidelines at residential treatment centers were to provide substantial meals and snacks to take the clients minds off drinking. Substituting sugar for alcohol seemed to be working with that viewpoint. Today, more addiction professionals are understanding the connection with food and recovery response.

A National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence survey recently showed that there is a high rate of alcohol dependence and abuse prevalent in the food industry compared to other professions.

Also, a federal research project showed that alcohol used in recipes for cooking DID NOT burn off. The report indicated that, depending on the type of alcohol used and the method of cooking, 5-85% of the alcohol used remained in the food after cooking.

What addiction professionals now know is that proper nutrition as crucial in the recovery process as it is fighting any disease.

My approach to addiction treatment is “if you take something away from a person, you need to replace it with something in order to have a whole person”. If I take someone’s Snicker bar and Pepsi away, what will I replace it with? Maybe allow a Snicker bar once in a while, but also include a hearty breakfast, and some yogurt, or fruit as snacks.

Liz Scott, a chef, a recovering person, and an author, offers some great food preparation recipes for everyday cooking, entertaining, and other celebrations. I strongly suggest checking out her books: “Sober Kitchen: Recipes and Advice for a Lifetime of Sobriety”, “Sober Celebrations: Lively Entertaining Without the Spirits”, and, her newest book “Zero Proof Cocktails: Alcohol-free Beverages for All Occasions.

Bon Appetite

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

I am also Founder and President of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

ADDICTION COUNSELOR CERTIFICATION IN OREGON

People often ask me about my credentials: CADCII—what do the letters mean and what is the significance? CADCII stands for an advanced Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor in the State of Oregon. This certification process is overseen by the Addiction Counselor Certification Board of Oregon (ACCBO); http://www.accbo.com. This Board was established in 1977 to certify addiction professionals based on competency based evaluation of education, experience, and psychometric exams sanctioned by The National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors, and the International Certification Reciprocity Consortium. This certification is an assurance that counselors have met minimum standards of competence, are accountable to uphold ethical standards, and continue to have contemporary knowledge of evidenced based practices.

There are three levels of certification:

CADCI, the Associate Proficiency Level, requires 150 A&D education hours, 1000 supervised experience hours in addiction counselor competencies, and successful completion of a NCAC I National Certification written exam.

CADCII, the Baccalaureate Proficiency Level, which requires a BA or BS, 300 A&D education hours, 4,000 experience hours in the addiction counselor competencies supervised by a qualified Oregon Administrative clinical supervisor, letter verifying minimum of 3 years of sobriety for anyone entering the field from any chemical dependence, Ethics Agreement signed and dated, an NCACII professional psychometric National Certification Exam, successful completion of a NAADAC Case Presentation Exam.

CADCII, the Graduate Proficiency Level, requiring a minimum of a Masters Degree with a minimum of 300 A&D accredited education hours, 6,000 Experience Hours supervised by a qualified clinical supervisor under Oregon Administration in the Counselor Competencies, for those entering the field from recovery a letter verifying a minimum of 3 years of sobriety, an Ethics Agreement signed and dated, a passing score on a MAC professional psychometric National Certification Exam, and a NAADAC Case Presentation Examination.

Also, with a few additional classes and another exam a CADC’s with a minimum of 2,000 hours can apply to become a CERTIFIED PREVENTION SPECIALIST.

ACCBO is a leader it the field of ADDICTION COUNSELOR raising and holding the standards for delivery of services. Learn more about ACCBO and certification at http://www.accbo.com.

Check the State where you live to learn the qualification for the Alcohol and Drug counseling field.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my practice at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT

Dr. Mark Willenbring, director of the Treatment and Recovery Research Division at the national Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism., recently wrote an article for ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL magazine (Sept/Oct 2008` Vol 6 No 5, page 12) suggesting that a fundamental change needed to be done to redefine alcohol treatment. Among the topics of this article were who, and who did not receive specialty addiction treatment and why; continuum of need, and structural barriers. One of his suggestions was for expanding the elements of the continuum of need and care. Dr. Willenbring said “Since no one behavioral approach has better overall outcomes than others, clients should have a choice of available, effective treatment…Because most people in need of specialty treatment have chronic, relapsing dependence as well as co-existing physical mental disorders, specialty addiction treatment should seamlessly integrate addiction, primary medical, and psychiatric treatments” Dr. Willenbring is just one voice of many addiction experts calling for addiction specialists to step out of the traditional box of treatment and come up with new approaches.

I have recently launched the HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM, a comprehensive, multidimensional alternative holistic counseling/coach approach to healing from addiction on an individual basis. This approach addresses the three dimensions necessary for individual healing: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Methods used include, but not limited to, cognitive behavioral modification, rational therapy, family systems, and, rational behavioral emotive therapy, along with an array of alternative approaches. Healthy Healing guides the clients from active chronic addiction/relapse to sobriety, into a maintenance recovery, to ongoing healing. This is an integrated services model that requires the client to make a minimum of one-year commitment to the program. Healthy Healing would be considered an intensive-intensive-outpatient program. This program was developed to address the needs of individuals who meet the ASAM criteria for residential care, but are unwilling, or unable, to commit to a residential program. This concept meets the client at their willingness level.

The HEALTHY HEALING PROGRAM blends elements of the traditional 12-step approach, with approaches specific to individual need. For instance, using cognitive-behavioral therapy counselor and client work together to understand addiction and explore spirituality; steps one and two in the 12-step program. Another example is the phrase often used in 12-step “one day at a time”; the counselor may work with the client using “The Power of Now” to learn to live life in the “now”.

As Dr. Willenbring pointed out at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “Since no one behavioral approach has better overall outcomes than others, clients should have a choice of available, effective treatments.”

The HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM offers a viable alternative to traditional addiction treatment. Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and this program at:

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

PHYSICAN ADDICTION SPECIALISTS

GREAT NEWS!!! Physicians, MDs, are now going to be certified in addiction treatment! This historic partnership between the National Institute on Drub Abuse (NIDA) and the American Board of Addiction Medicine (ABAM) was announced May 2. This ABAM certification benefit other addiction specialists by making addiction treatment truly integrative. Physician will now be working side by side as a Team Member focusing services on the addict, family, and community. Read the complete article outlining the this historical change in the addiction field in this month’s “ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL” magazine at: http://www.addictionpro.com

If you are presently professional addiction counselor, I would love to hear your opinion of this remarkable decision. E-mail me at: maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at:

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: TREATMENT PROGRESS

With the launch of my new HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM, I was reflecting on how far the addiction field has come in a hundred years.
It is still difficult for me to read about how addicts were treated at the turn of the twentieth century—institutionalizing/hospitalization was the kindest approach. Dr. William D. Silkworth, MD, passionately expressed the professional viewpoint of treating addicts of that time, in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Doctor’s Opinion”, page xxviii-xxix: “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.” He goes on to say “Men have cried out to me in sincere and despairing appeal: ‘Doctor, I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!’ Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy. Although he gives all that is in him, it often is not enough. One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change. Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole.” Now, almost a decade into the 21st Century, we have learned that it takes a village to help an addict on their journey to optimal health. Specially trained addiction counselors working as a conduit between the client, the primary care physician, the psychiatrist, the nutritionist, the gym, the life coach, the family—slowly and patiently guiding the addict to a healthier lifestyle.

The HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION OUTPATIENT PROGRAM is a comprehensive, multidimensional alternative holistic counseling/coach approach to healing from addiction on an individual basis. The HH Program addresses the physical, emotional, and spiritual needed by addicts to make, as Dr. Silkworth suggested, that “essential psychic change.”

Read more about the HEALTHY HEALING PROGRAM at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: CHIROPRACTIC INTERVENTION

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION member, DR. CAROL STOUTLAND, Chiropractic Medicine, practices the NUCCA upper cervical technique—NO POPPING OR CRACKING. One thing that many people don’t know is that a chiropractic adjustment is a primary intervention resource to help in the recovery process of addiction.
Here is why it is effective: chemicals from the brain need to be able to smoothly flow through the system. A misalignment in the back, particularly the upper cervical area, interferes with the flow of brain chemicals including those associated with addiction; e.g. dopamine. The other good reason for using this intervention is that it is drug-free. Learn more about DR. CAROL STOUTLAND and the other services she offers at the ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: WET BRAIN

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
My father is 72 years old and a chronic alcoholic. It is hard for me to remember times when my father hasn’t been intoxicated. Ironically, he is a renowned scholar, admired by people around the world. He has been in and out of rehab, private hospitals, AA, but nothing really help. Now that he is aging, it seems he is aging faster then others his age. He also seems to be having signs of dementia. What can I do to keep my father alive?

Joyce

Dear Joyce,
I am so sad to hear about your father. It must be very frustrating for you as his daughter to watch such an intelligent human being be consumed by alcohol. This is vivid proof that alcoholism has no socio-economic boundaries. Doesn’t matter if you are brilliant or slow, wealthy or poor, when alcohol takes over, with continued use, it will eventually take your life.

I am sure that you have been witness to your father’s alcoholic progression from early stages to the end stages you are may now be observing.

In early stages of alcohol addiction, alcohol is used as a mood-altering drug to reach a level of euphoria to relieve stress, uncomfortable feelings, or moods. Eventually he would develop a tolerance for alcohol, which means he would have had to start drinking more to achieve the effects he needed. Because the alcohol impairs judgment, personal behavior problems associated with the increased use occur. Then, more drinking to defend the inappropriate behavior, to avoid taking responsibility, and to justify continuing the use.

At the point the tolerance for the alcohol developed, changes in brain chemistry started to occur as the brain tries to accommodate for the alcohol increase. In the end stage of alcoholism the problems associated with increased use of alcohol continues at higher levels of severity. Serious physical, psychological, and behavior problems occur, often leading to a premature death.

Alcohol induced dementia, sometimes known as wet brain, or, Wenicke-Korsakoff syndrome, is direct damage to the brain caused by long-term heavy alcohol consumption. Long-term use of alcohol causes poor eating habits, damaging the gastrointestinal system, and the liver, depleting the body of thiamine. Thiamine is needed for glucose conversion in the brain. The inability to stimulate glucose conversion results in significant brain cell death and serious structural damage in certain areas of the brain.

Alcohol induced dementia is the third or fourth most common form of intellectual loss, particularly in the elderly. It is probably under diagnosed because primary care physicians fail to recognize alcoholism in elderly patients. And, clarifying the diagnosis is tricky in that brain imaging, or other clinical studies, don’t always distinguish alcohol dementia from other diseases.
Sixty percent of the elderly drink, up to 10% are binge drinkers, and 8% of elderly people have a serious drinking problem. It is estimated that Medicare spends more money on alcohol related problems than for the treatment of heart attacks.

Symptoms of wet brain include an irregular gait, confusion, hallucination, loss of control over eye movements, severely impaired short-term recall but excellent long-term memory, and other intellectual functions. End stages, severe wet brain extends from dementia to a pure amnesia that is not reversible.

Early stages of wet brain often respond well to large intravenous doses of thiamine. Approximately 20% in early treatment can lead to a full mental recovery. Late stage wet brain in alcoholics do not usually benefit from any known traditional treatment. The mortality rate is approximately 20%.

It is important that alcoholics, particularly in the late stages of their addiction, be closely monitored by a primary care physician that is familiar with their medical history and their addiction history. Caught in time, alcoholic dementia patients can regain up to 0.5 points on their mini mental per year with prolonged sobriety. Physicians need to continue to monitor for any heart or liver disease related to prolonged use.

Joyce, you asked “What can I do to keep my father alive?” Your father has got to want to live, and he has got to want to accept help. Depending what stage he is in, the first thing he would have to do is totally abstain from alcohol. And, you, Joyce, visiting an Alanon meeting once in a while will remind you that you are not alone in this experience.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

SAM WITH THOUGHTS OF DEEPAK CHOPRA

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
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“The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”: Yes but what is success?

I have recently begun reading the book "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" by Deepak Chopra. These daily reminders of how to live our lives are very interesting and I have begun to see how they play out in my life. I also have begun to implement them and use them in my life to gain more insight into myself and how the world around me works. I have decided that I am going to share my reflections and introspections regarding these laws on a personal level. I intend to share with you fellow travelers in the hope that by doing so we can all begin to see more clearly how they apply and can help us to see how to make our life on this planet better.

In this book I have learned to look at how I have the power to create my own life and what that manifests as. I have also learned that I create my own life by my choices and by my actions, that I am the architect of my life. I never felt that before and I have to admit that sometimes I still have trouble believing that I have the power or creation. I kind of left that power to God as a younger person. It is only now later on in my life that I have begun to see the power that we all have in creating and manifesting things in our life.

When I first saw this book, I admit I thought it was kind of small and was probably just one of those countless self-help books that sound good but don’t really mean much in the real world of things. For one thing what is success? Success means what? What are we talking about here? I had always thought of success in only one way, that being financial. I never felt myself as being successful in that way. So I never saw myself as a success. But in the book it talks about success being "the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals. Success is the ability to fulfill your desires with effortless ease." I always thought that success was a result of very hard work and a long time coming. I never equated "effortless ease" with success. Nor did I believe necessarily that success was about "worthy goals" except that goal of making money. I come from a time and place where I learned that money meant success and even though I was given the message that money doesn't buy happiness, it seemed as if the messages I received where kind of mixed up. So I did not really get the spiritual definition of success until much later in life. That to be successful doesn't necessarily have to do with money as much as it is based on spiritual law. That this spiritual success could lead to happiness, joy, harmony, peace, low and a balance with nature was unknown to me until fairly recently.

So I guess the definition of Success was kind of skewed for me. I am now learning that success can include money but that it doesn’t have to include the financial realm. Life is about the journey not the destination and while money does help in some ways to make the journey more pleasurable, it is not the goal necessarily. There is no destination. That was kind of enlightenment to me when I heard it. I believe that more and more as time goes by. Success as Deepak Chopra says in his book consists of "good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationships, creative freedom, emotional and psychological stability, a sense of well being and peace of mind." He goes on to talk about how we all have the "seeds of divinity inside us". This allows for the creativity and miracles that we sometimes see in others. I had a hard time getting that message as a younger person. I always believed that divinity was something for god not for humans. Because we have that divinity in us we have what the first law states as Pure Potential.

We have this potential, all of us do, to create and manifest the unmanifested. He talks more about that in the first law, which I will share more of later, but for now I think it is important to acknowledge a few things. He talks about the source of this creation as being divinity or the spirit that we all possess; the "process of creation" he says is this "divinity in motion or the mind"; and the "object of creation is the physical universe or our body". So that relates to the whole mind body, spirit connection. He says that these all come from the same place that place of pure potentiality that is "unmanifest". Our jobs, so to speak, then are to manifest the unmanifest. Or at least that is my impression. We have the ability to do so using the seven spiritual laws. I have been told that you can focus on all of them at the same time or you can focus on a different one each day. I believe that either way will create a transformation in you. I have recently begun to focus on one a day and yet as I do this I have found that they are all pretty much interconnected, just like all of life. So as I focus on one they all seem to become more a part of my consciousness.

So I plan on sharing one a day, kind of like the vitamin, for the next week. I hope you enjoy and find some enlightenment in them and that they help you to see things and think things and experience things that you have not seen, thought or experienced before. May they help you to live a more successful life, see above definition of success. I will begin tomorrow with the Law of Pure Potentiality and progress each day with the next one. Sooo lets begin then fellow travelers. Shall we? Til next time, peace, namaste and good journey to you.

Sam
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Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE: IRS

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
I went to the bank to withdraw some money from my account. I was informed that the IRS took everything from all my accounts! This is embarrassing and awkward as I have automatic payments made for electric, phone, mortgage, etc. My attorney tells me this is perfectly legal. I am a well-educated retired professional. It makes me sick to admit that I had considered suicide over this. I want others to know that this can happen to them.

Ernie

Dear Ernie,
Thank goodness suicide ended up not being an option for you! Hopefully, you have connected with a therapist and CPA to follow through on healing from this dilemma.
Please know, Ernie, you are not the only American experiencing the wrath of the IRS.

There is much documentation that the IRS, particularly, the Criminal Investigation Division (IRS CID), has on more than one occasion been accused of abusive behavior. In preparing this column I read many heartbreaking cases of people that committed suicide because of problems directly related to IRS collections. Unfortunately, the IRS continues the pursuit of payment through the family and estate even after the victim is gone.

As your attorney probably informed you, Ernie, the IRS has the legal authority to enforce liens and seize your assets without obtaining judgment in court. They do not have to warn you exactly when it will happen. It is important to understand the complicated structure of the IRS in order to be able to deal with them.

The Congress of President Lincoln created the first office of the IRS in 1862 during the Civil War. The purpose was to enact a progressive income tax that would pay war expenses replacing the flat rate tax, the first federal income tax system established in 1861. Since then the IRS has changed names several times, and has grown in complexity.

The IRS headquarters is located in Washington D.C. and is a branch of the U.S. Treasury Department. As of 1998 it has four major operating divisions, ten regional service centers, 33 district offices, numerous sub offices under the district offices. Since 1997 it is constantly changing as part of a “modernization” program.

A Commissioner, regional commissioners, district directors oversee the IRS structure, and Chief Counsel appointed by the President and confirmed by the Senate. There are over 100,000 employees working for the IRS. And, in 2006, the IRS started outsourcing collections of taxpayers debts to private debt collection agencies, paying 22-24% of the amount collected on each debt.

Over 200 million tax returns are processed each year. During the fiscal year 2006, more than $2.2 trillion in tax net refunds were collected; 44% attributable to individual income tax. In 2007 the IRS estimated it was owed $300 billion more than it collects. Thus, the IRS adapted a motto of “Service plus Enforcement equals Compliance” leading to more investigations of abusive tax schemes. Given the state of the US economy since 2008, you can believe that the IRS is stepping up their efforts to collect all outstanding debts no matter how small the amount or the human cost.

Within the structure of the IRS there is a taxpayer service function called the “Problems Resolution Program”. Developed in the 1980’s this program employs IRS troubleshooters to facilitate communication between taxpayers owing money and the IRS. These officers are located at service centers, regional and district offices and hold the powers to help you cut through the red tape to get things quickly resolved. For more information about this program go to: http://www.irs.gov/advocate/.

Ernie, you did the right thing contacting your attorney for advice. Whenever dealing with a tax-related legal issue an experienced tax attorney can help ensure that your financial and personal interests are fully protected. I would also advice you to be sure to connect with a therapist that can help you work this through to avoid the overwhelming stress that these situations incur. Of course, always having a good CPA that keeps updated with the ever-changing laws, rules, and policies of the IRS is a must.

Be well on your journey.
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Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

ADULT CHILD ADDICTION

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
I am the parent of an adult child in recovery from an addiction. We are living together and sometimes this person slips and reverts back to the old addiction patterns. The pattern is very slowly going and I can see the progress that has been made so far. My question is this: What boundaries does one set when the "other" addicted person is present versus the healthy "present" person. I am struggling with this because I know that my adult child wants to be healthy, complete and whole. Since I do not have health insurance and am living on social security, I feel that my resources are financially limited. My adult child is not working at this time and I feel the pressure of being the sole supporter. What can I do and what can my adult child do to help ourselves and each other?

Betty

Dear Betty,
I can see that you are caught up in a couple of dilemmas. I want to start by giving you kudos for the love and patience you are showing your “adult child”. Addiction and the economy have never complimented each other. Your adult child is fortunate for having you in their life. Obviously, you have not bought into the “tough love” philosophy. Good for you!

The “tough love” philosophy has been around for decades. While this approach for addiction treatment has never proven to be effective, or safe, it is still being used in many treatment programs. As an addiction counselor, this approach has never been personally comfortable because, ethically, I am bound “to do no harm”. Cruelty and humiliation has never resonated with me to guide people into a healthier lifestyle.

Economically the cost for treating addiction is expensive. Residential treatment programs can range anywhere from $8500 to over $50,000 for a 24-45 day program. Many of these programs are eliminating their after care support groups to save money. If you don’t have insurance that will cover the treatment, most likely, there isn’t very much State or Federal funding available to help. Some private practices will offer pro bono slots.

Even with insurance, however, caps are placed on how much the insurance company will pay out for addiction treatment, limits are placed on the type of treatment the company will allow, and, most sadly, “preventative” treatment is seldom covered. Insurance companies seem to be holding on to the idea that addicts can be “fixed” in a short period of time.

Here are some suggestions for people that are trying to support someone’s recovery with limited funding available:

EDUCATE YOURSELF: Attend 12 Step meetings to listen to what other addicts and family members are saying about their addiction, and how they achieved, or helped to achieve, a successful recovery. Attend lectures, workshops, and seminars to learn about treatment approaches. These events are often not always limited to professionals, and, sometimes offer scholarships or work credit.

SET BOUNDARIES: Lovingly, from your heart, let your loved one know what you are willing to tolerate, consequences of breaking agreements, and set limits on your money, time, and personal space.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Be sure to take time to be healthy yourself with exercise, nutrition, friendships, socializing, etc. Your addict needs examples of how to be healthy—living with you makes can provide a number one example. If you and your environment are not healthy, how can you expect your addict to change?

Betty, again, please let me acknowledge your love for your adult child. Love and patience are two of the ingredients necessary for an addict healing; now, add a cupful of knowledge, two cups of setting boundaries, a bundle of patient time, and a whole healthy you, and WHOOLA! you may just have a healthier adult child.

Be well on your journey
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Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

WOMEN'S CIRCLES

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
My mother died when I was four years old. My father did a good job raising me and my brother by himself. Because I grew up in a house that had two males, I don’t think I had the guidance I needed to be the most girly-girly type girl. I don’t necessarily do well with women as friends. But, now that I am approaching thirty, I want to be more in touch with my feminine side; at this age where do I begin to seek a role model?

Denise

Dear Denise,
Role models are all around us. Identifying women your age that you want to be like, then befriending them would be the obvious. But, since you grew up in a male dominant household, you are probably more comfortable having men as friends.

An idea that is growing around the world is the ancient concept of “women’s circles”. Women’s circles are a safe place for women to come together to understand and honor themselves. These circles also provide nurturing spaces for women to own their feelings, share life experiences and collective wisdom.

We have all seen renderings of cave women sitting around a fire, probably sharing tales of the day. During medieval times there were not only talking circles, there were festive and ritualistic dance circles. Late 1700’s women’s circles were more then “sewing” circles, they united to encourage a movement to stop using British goods. During the late 1800’s women circles started evolving into feminine political voices. And, of course, the circles eventually led to the women’s movement during the 1960’s. History is full of examples of women praying together, studying together, serving together, and sharing life experiences together.

Somehow, at the end of the 20th century women started segregating themselves from other women. It could have been a change in parenting styles? A national consensus of comepetition vs cooperation? Or, the decreasing two parent household? I will bow to future researchers to figure the reason for women not sharing with other women.

“Circles” are a deeply human experience. Circles are a safe place where women know that they are heard and that their collective wisdom is honored. Circles empower women to build peace around the women doing what women do best—sharing their life experiences and wisdom.

Denise, you can either join a circle that is already formed, or you can start a circle of your own. If you decide to start a circle of your own my suggestion would be to define your age group; my experience is that 30-40 somethings are in a totally different stage then 50-70 somethings. Discussions in these groups offer insights to what we can expect to experience in that particular stage of life; hearing what the same age group is experiencing is often very profound.

Next, decide your purpose and focus of the group. Examples of “purpose” can be spiritual exploration, discussion of current events, getting in touch with inner creativity, marriage and motherhood--the possibilities are endless. Just be clear what need your circle will fill.

Once you know why you are having the circle you can start inviting other women. You probably don’t want more then 12 to 15 to begin a circle. Women will start and leave the circle; new ones will come in, depending on how strong your circle becomes. You might want to invite five or six women you know, and ask them each to bring a friend—this will add diversity to your circle.

Rules are definitely needed to preserve the integrity of the group. Confidentiality, respect, and honest communication are major components of a successful circle. You also want to be sure that everyone is heard and their stories are honored. Introductions allow participants to start talking and gage their own personal comfort level.

I love the idea of my circles being pot-luck. In my Sicilian culture, food was always present around tables—even if it were coffee and breads. It is fascinating what you can learn about people by breaking bread with them and it seems to open people up to talking.

You might also want to consider asking someone experienced in facilitating circles to attend your first couple circles to help you with the structure.

Denise, women’s circles provide guidance, insight, and knowledge about what other women are experiencing, and how you might want to precede with your own life. Circles are about cooperation not competition.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

DOPAMINE: GENETIC CONNECTION

DOPAMINE: GENETIC CONNECTION
A University of Cambridge report indicates that individuals can be predisposed to drug addiction by the way their brains are wired for the production and transmission of dopamine. Dopamine acts as a signaling molecule connected to the reward pathway causing cravings for many cigarette smokers and other addicts. Dopamine functions in the brain as a neurotransmitter activating five types of dopamine receptors. Dopamine receptors are the common neurological targets for drug use. Dopamine receptors in the brain are responsible for neurological processes, such as: motivation, cognition, learning, pleasure, reality, and fine motor control. Dopamine in the frontal lobes of the brain controls the flow of information from other areas of the brain; it acts as a-sort-of information traffic control in the brain. A decline of dopamine in the frontal lobes can cause a decline in memory, problem solving, and attention. Drugs can either stimulate, or suppress the dopamine brain function that transmits the prediction error of rewarding outcomes. Dopamine is believed to provide a teaching signal in the brain that is responsible for acquiring new behavior. Since we learn to repeat behaviors that lead to maximum rewards, drug addicts crave substances that give predictable rewards, such as: sexually, hallucinatory, motivational. Dopamine agonists, or stimulators trick the brain into thinking it is receiving dopamine. Dopamine antagonists, or blockers, prevent the body from using, or producing dopamine. A decrease in dopamine receptors can render an individual vulnerable to addiction.

The research being done at Cambridge is important to answer the question: Is the tendency toward addiction connected to genetic disposition? A next step would be to identify the gene(s) associated with the diminished supply of brain receptors.


Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and read more blogs on addiction and lifestyle changes at: http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

ADDICTION: I’LL DRINK TO THAT

My new clients are sometimes surprised that one of the things I ask them to work on changing is ‘drink more water’. Alcohol increases dehydration in the body; hence ‘dry heaves’ after trying to hydrate the body with alcohol. ‘Water’, simple and pure ‘water’. I remember when I lived in Southern California, I could smell the water coming out of the tap; we bought our water in five gallon containers back then. Where I presently live in Oregon, we are actually able to drink water from the tap and enjoy the pure taste. Still, I buy a lot of bottled water to have on hand for my clients to take with them when they leave my office—that take away suggestion to ‘drink water’. Yesterday, a friend of mine dropped a case of 24 bottles of ‘Perfect Water’ off at my office. I looked up on the internet why it was ‘Perfect Water’, www.perfectwater.com, the website gives five points of why it is ‘Perfect Water’ including ‘oxygen Rich and empowered with MBO proprietary technology’. It also has a disclaimer that it is not intended as a miracle wellness product, not had the U.S. FDA evaluated it. Even without the government’s endorsement, I am drinking it—and enjoying it. Nutritionists recommend that adults drink 64 ounces of water—four bottles—per day. (Check with your doctor if this is appropriate for you) Here are a few water facts you may find interesting: 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated; in 37% of American, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger; one glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of dieters studied by U of Washington; lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue; a mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen. Who knew?! I’ll drink to that.

I am MAx Fabry. Learn more about me at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

I am the founder and proud member of Online Wellness Association
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com